For most people, a trip around the world would emphasize the importance of the shortness of life, how big risk can equal big reward, and how precious moments are. But today, I am speaking of Precious Moments in the literal sense. And you know what? They aren’t all that they’re cracked up to be! I feel for all those kids who were “promised” the gift of great wealth, but who ended up with a ceramic doll made in Taiwan.
I’ve spent the last few days surrounded by Precious Moments. Taking Precious Moments out of the attic, into a moving trailer, out of a moving trailer, into my garage, out of their box, taking a picture of them, putting them back in the box, and onto craigslist. Thank you so much everyone over 55 years old who decided to purchase Audrey a Precious Moment for every significant milestone in her life.
Instead of putting money towards a savings bond, college, a first car, or even a wedding, many family members decided to purchase Audrey a $40 Precious Moment. I stayed up late one night wondering, “What if they would’ve invested in the Precious Moment stock instead?” I wonder if that even exists? If so, we’d probably be multi-millionaires and this whole RTW thing would’ve happened years ago. Honestly, at this point, I’m convinced that the whole “Precious Moment” thing is one huge Ponzi scheme. It has to be. For the most part, they’re all worth about $1, on the low-end, or maybe one share of Enron stock on the high end.
Currently, we’re sitting on about 100 Precious Moments in our inventory. I call it inventory. Audrey calls them things that “tug on my heart strings.” Luckily, there are crazy people, I mean unique people, out there in the world who consider this a “collectible.” We have a Precious Moment aficionado coming to our house in 2 days to hopefully make an offer. Instead of purchasing all 100 Precious Moments, most likely they’ll pick the one Precious Moment we have that’s worth anything. They’ll offer us $10, of course we’ll take it. With our luck, it’ll probably be the one Precious Moment that’s worth $500.
We’re holding a garage sale this weekend at Harry Sr’s in Westmont. Guess what’s going to be on the $5 table? About 99 Precious Moments. Many of which will be negotiated down to $1. Here’s some advice to the 55 year old Precious Moment buyers: instead of purchasing “stuff” as a present to your niece, nephew, son, daughter, or significant other, why not give something that they’ll appreciate when they’re older?
Rather than giving silver dollars, “special” coins, U.S. government savings bonds, $2 bills, stamps, or Precious Moments please think long-term. How about opening an IRA for that 5 year-old? Imagine the compounding that will occur on your investment over 50 years! Then again, if you really don’t like that 5 year-old, then go ahead and buy a Precious Moment. Did I mention we’re having a garage sale?
If you’ve made it this far, God bless you. Your patience runs much thicker than mine. Regardless, I thought it was notable to mention that out of the 100 Precious Moments we have, this is the one Audrey considered, “Her precious.” It’s titled, “We’re going to miss you” and she is forcing us to keep this one. My advice? Resist the urge!