What’s Illinois known for you ask?
Give me a second, let me grab my flask.
Bought a condo in 2004.
Now the only thing of value is the front door.
Today I sold it for $45,000 less than I paid.
Looks like I’ll be next in line for financial aid.
Corrupt unions and governments with fancy pensions you see.
Now I can’t afford to pay for parking, in the past it was free.
The system was built by these greedy thieves.
God only knows what tricks remain up Rahm’s sleeves.
They complain about income inequality and the one percent.
It’s about time they take a look in the mirror to question their intent.
Taxes and crime are up, it’s too expensive to survive.
I sold my two cars, too many red light cameras when I drive.
On some days I’d walk to work and everything was fine.
That was until the flash mobs moved in and that’s where I draw the line.
I didn’t want to leave Illinois, Illinois forced me out.
I’ll probably move to Idaho and live off rainbow trout.
Moving to a state that wants me and won’t tax me to death.
Maybe New Mexico, heard there’s money in meth.
I’ve been bulldozed out, not homeless by choice.
So goodbye Illinois, it’s time to rejoice!
Never thought about writing a poem, I thought it was a crock.
But my therapist recommends I talk about my 35 years in Chi-raq.
My flask is now empty, I breathe a great sigh.
Sometimes it’s just easier to turn a blind eye.